Cultural: Funerals in Poland - once again
We’ve now been in Poland since 1994. In the 26+ years we’ve been here, we’ve been to several funerals. Most of them have been elderly people that either we knew and cared about or they were the relatives of people we knew/cared about.
Recently we came face to face with this situation once again when over the course of just over a week, two people passed away - two people we’ve known from when we first arrived in Poland.
I had not been to a whole lot of funerals in the states before arriving in Poland in 1994, so I hardly consider myself an expert on them. I mostly thought I’d describe what we’ve seen here at the few I’ve been to.
As I reflect on the funerals I’ve been to - I think it’s been under 10 in all the years we’ve been here - I’ve been both to Roman Catholic ones - where they have first a service in a chapel, and then another graveside service - and nonCatholic or Baptist ones - which were simply graveside services - totally skipping the one in the church or chapel.
The funeral we went to today was outside only and the man - who had been our friend and co-worker in years past - was only 50. Between 200-300 people were there. He had been a teacher at 3 different local schools plus a pastor and was part of a big family! I’m so grateful our friend was a believer and we will see him again in Heaven. While we are sad now and my heart is heavy for his widow and four children - the sadness isn’t the same when you realize the separation is temporary. (OK, end of being preachy.)
First of all, the Polish people are very respectful and solemn at funerals. I’ve actually not even seen crying - everyone has been under control. I only say that because in some cultures, it may be that they cry or even wail loudly. Not so here.
I believe that the ones where they were only graveside services, the pastor doing the speaking knew the one deceased (with one exception where my husband was asked to do it but was not in the country and a different pastor was asked to do it) whereas the ones where we met in the church/chapel, I did not get the impression that the priest speaking actually knew the deceased personally. The one we went to today - both speakers knew the man/family very well.
In the ones where they have a service at the church or chapel, the priest speaks while people sit in the pew and listen quietly - and it seems like the family has a special place in the church to sit. The priest says some things - a simple sermon - and in the ones I’ve been to, they have communion where they offer it to the people in the pew as well. They also have certain ceremonies that I was unfamiliar with like throwing water on the casket and flowers that were by the casket. I remember the first time I saw this - I was quite startled as I had never experienced anything like that. None of that happens at the outdoor only ones that aren’t Catholic. People do put flowers around and on the grave, though.
This one was from 2016 and a pastor that we had worked with when we first came to Poland.
After the ceremony at the church is over, they load the casket into the hearse and drive it to the area where it is going to be buried. In the ones I’ve been to, we walked following the hearse to the plot side and there there is another short service and they bury the casket while we all watched.
I was unfamiliar with traditions in the states as well - so I was also startled that we would actually watch them bury the casket completely. I had seen movies where they threw a flower into the hole on top of the casket, but wasn’t aware that we would watch them finish the burying with throwing dirt on the casket. This part is the same in all the ceremonies I’ve been to - Baptist or Catholic whereas the couple I’ve been to in the states - it seemed like they did that after the family left.
After they finish covering the casket with the dirt, the cemetery or mortuary workers put the flowers that were brought into position by the marker and then the workers leave. The concerned mourners/loved ones can stay around and talk as long as they wish.
I have written about funerals here in Poland two other times. You can read about them here and here. These two articles were good because one was about a Roman Catholic funeral and the one was simply a graveside ceremony.
I’m adding this little addendum today, Thursday, but Friday I’m heading to the states to help in FL for a while. My mom needs me and it seems like the least I can do. We were going to go anyway - we just bumped my ticket up a bit.
And so…I’m pushing back from the computer to get my luggage packed. Thanks for coming along on my journey with me (not the literal one - the life one)!
Have a great day wherever you are reading this! Stay safe!
Be sure to check out what my sis has for you in the store here!
Here’s one of the beauties we have!
